


the next right thing

by littlevodika



Series: star wars fanfiction/reader inserts [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Gets Defensive, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Is Emotionally Intelligent For Once In His Life, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Speaks Binary, F/M, I'm Bitter About Qui-Gon, Master/Padawan Bonding Time, Original Droid Character(s) - Freeform, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn Was Not A Good Master, Twi'lek OC, Twi'leks (Star Wars), parental figure death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlevodika/pseuds/littlevodika
Summary: after losing your master, you weren't as steady in your trust in the order or your use of the force. will a close friend bring you back to the light, or will you send each other into a downward spiral toward the dark side?
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker/Reader
Series: star wars fanfiction/reader inserts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695919
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	1. grief has a gravity

**Author's Note:**

> the reader’s age is somewhere from 19-24 here but where exactly can be up to your discretion. padawans typically train with their master for 8-13 years before becoming jedi knights, their training starting at the age of 12.
> 
> canon changes: i’m creating my own droid factory & planet bc i can’t find a canonical place to set this story, and i made up numbers for clone legions. and since i’m putting the reader’s age a close to anakin, he’s 19 at the start of this series

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your master dies saving your life & it’s up to you to get everyone back to coruscant, but there’s one thing standing in your way: the droid factory you were sent to destroy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a depressing intro to a series, sorry not sorry. it's necessary for the character growth tho, so enjoy the sadness

you and your master landed your ship on the planet of deimos, the clones under your command following behind. you were here because the separatists were in the process of building a droid factory that could annihilate the republic forces with alarming ease if it were to work at full capacity. needless to say, the mission was dire. the planet consisted of reddish canyons and desert land with very little plant life. there was a perpetual red fog hanging in the air that was toxic to many species, human included, so everyone was forced to wear oxygen tanks and masks.

your favorite clone captain was along for the ride, and venom was decidedly not happy with the idea of having to be this dependent on tanks. hours earlier, he had exaggerated your lack of piloting skills, which weren’t fabulous to begin with, and you were navigating a mild asteroid belt on your own. your master didn’t stay asleep for long with the ship tipping and rotating alarmingly and was quick to take over the controls.

“ah come on, venom. you’re starting to sound like the captain of the 501st, complaining ‘bout me!” you joke, nudging his side lightly.

he grins, knowing just how much his brother rex has to deal with in terms of jedi generals. “you’re nowhere near the bottom of the barrel in terms of jedi, sir. trust me, i know from experience.”

“we need to keep quiet, padawan. someone could be watching us.”  
“yes, master.”  
“i’m not upset, dear one,” she whispered softly, tucking your padawan braid behind your ear. “but vigilance is key. there hasn’t been any republic influence on this planet in centuries, and no one knows how deep the separatist influence is ingrained.” she double-twisted her lekku in front of her and you smiled, doing the same with the ties on your robes like when you were barely a padawan.

your twi’lek master had taken an almost maternal role in your training. it was an unorthodox method, but it was also seen in how qui-gon jinn trained his former padawan, the legendary obi-wan kenobi, and everyone knows his name. you had met obi-wan soon after becoming a padawan, and obi-wan had the same patient air about him that your master did. she would assign you under him when she had important business to attend to, and throughout the years, you had grown to trust him the same as your master.

the rest of the walk to the factory was done in near silence. you’d all been on your feet for an hour and had covered four clicks’ distance with minimum breaks and maximum efficiency, such is the way of the 420th legion. 

“we don’t have enough oxygen in our tanks to last 24 hours, so this mission is an in-and-out, understand?” your master’s strict orders to the clones snapped you out of the deep dive into your memories. you hadn’t realized everyone was starting to gear up, the factory only a couple clicks away. “let’s go over our plan, shall we?”

\--------

your men were leaning against the pointed and daunting rock formations that were scattered across the landscape. they reminded you too much of what you were told of geonosis, a planet your master warned you to never visit. she had been at the battle of geonosis, and only once opened up about the pain she experienced on the force-forsaken planet. one moment, there was tranquility. the familiar sounds of your comrades joking and laughing as they equipped the necessary gear brought a sense of peace that chased away the anxiety you held about a planet you’d never been to. your master was helping clean weapons with venom and jolt. they were reminiscing about the previous mission, and-

*** * E X P L O S I O N S * ***

the canyon was rocked by several explosions and suddenly you and your troops were falling. your master shouted for you to force away the chucks that were going to crush you all if not moved quick. you worked efficiently and soon after and began to send as many of your friends back to the top of the canyon as you could, hoping you didn’t accidentally crack their oxygen tanks with the force.

the force told you that the ground was approaching quickly, and you didn’t know what to do. you shouted for your master, trying your best to find her while falling. when you spotted her, she was falling faster than you were and had an oddly serene expression on her face as she plummeted. you felt it soon after: there was a reason you weren’t falling as fast as you expected, and it was your master keeping you afloat. eventually you were able to tuck and roll onto the fallen debris and checked to see if you’ve broken anything. you feel fine, your ankle is a tad sore but that isn’t a big deal, you’ve had worse injuries.

you were about to find your master and jump back to the top to restrategize but before you could, a sharp pain struck you through the force. it was something you’ve never felt, nothing you recollect ever being taught.

there was a formation several feet away, and though from where you were you could only see a thick, magenta liquid, the force told you to investigate.

_‘that’s peculiar, there was no mention of there being other organisms on this planet, especially not ones that-’_

you glanced upward to further inspect the rock, trying to find the source of the magenta liquid and now you can’t breathe. your master was atop the formation, the rock impaling her abdomen, pointing to the stars jarringly. you used the force through your tears to bring her body down from the rock, trying your best to maintain your focus.

she’s cradled in your arms now, and her lekku are double-twisted, a soft smile gracing her face, eyes closed. if you covered her abdomen you could easily pretend she’s sleeping with the peace that’s settled on her features. you sob over her, mourning your master in the cursed canyons of deimos. your screams echoed for miles, and the force was quaking.

once the initial shockwaves from the force wore off, you felt cold. your body was empty. your heart was numb. you were ready to give up, to lie down and accept defeat while cradling your master for comfort.

_**“you are lost, hope is gone, but you must go on and do the next right thing.”** _

wait- that was your master! but where was her voice coming from? her lips were still in the soft smile she wore as she died. were you losing your mind?

 **“i’m here, dear one.”** you feel a hand on your shoulder and you scream in fear, drawing your saber as you hunch over your master’s body. your eyes must be deceiving you, because there was your master. she was standing next to you, but her blood was seeping deep into your clothes.

_can there be a day beyond this night?_  
_i don't know anymore what is true_  
_i can't find my direction, i'm all alone_  
_the only star that guided me was you_

**“this mission is yours to lead and you must do it bravely.”**

“but master, how can i do this without you?!?” the crying begins anew and your heart jumps when you feel her thumb swipe the tears from your cheek.

she bends to your level and rests her hands on your shoulders to steady you. **“i failed you, padawan. i’m so, so sorry, dear one.”** she was crying now, and it did nothing but increase your pain.

_how to rise from the floor_  
_when it's not you I'm rising for_

“how could you say those things, master?” she’s taught you almost everything you know about the force! you’ve saved so many lives because of your master! she was almost all you knew.

 **“the most important lesson a padawan must learn is to be able to let go. i neglected that in my teachings, and you are suffering because of it. now stand, dear one. you have friends atop the canyon waiting for their commander to lead them to victory.”** did she seriously think you would leave her body here, to deteriorate on the same kriffing planet that took her from you? that was a pile of bantha shit.

“i’m not leaving without you, master!” you began to tear at your clothes. trying to find a way to be able to carry her body -it was painful to process the thought- up the canyon. you were going to bring her home.

 **“i did not expect you to, but you must hurry. the separatists will be sending a search party to kill off any survivors they find.”** her shaking hands remove the lightsaber from her belt, handing it to you with a smile. **“i know how much you liked my purple ‘saber, young one.”** with that, she vanishes back into the force and leaves you to your work.

soon you’re able to tie her wrists together and put them over your neck, tying her ankles together around your hips as you begin to climb. you had to limit your use of the force for now because if you were going up against a droid factory, you needed every bit possible. you were nearly drained from the grief, and instead of risking force jumps that could end horribly if you lost balance with the new weight, you decided to climb your way back.

you hadn’t been climbing long when you hear a familiar voice calling your name. there’s a soft thud next to you and you’re surprised to see a rope followed by shouts to grab onto it. “venom, is that you?!” your throat was raw but you paid no mind, just relieved to hear a familiar voice.

“yes, commander! is the general with you?” his question was harmless but it hurt as you answered him with an affirmative as you clutched onto the rope with everything you had.

“pull, men! pull! pull them up, hurry!” it wasn’t long before you were back on top of the canyon and welcomed by five of your men: venom, pyro, biggs, stunner, & slick, and you couldn’t describe how elated you were to have been able to save this many.

“thank you, men. are there any other survivors?” you want to keep from talking about the fate of your master as long as you can.

“not that we’ve seen, commander.” venom avoids eye contact and you don’t blame the captain. this surprise attack nearly wiped us all out, and now there’s only a handful of you left.

“is the general alright?” biggs notices the strange color on your clothes and the haphazard way the general is slung across your back, and the rest of the clones shift their eyes there almost instantly.

tears well in your eyes as you shake your head, the lump in your throat making another appearance. “she was impaled by one of the rocks during the fall. she’s gone, boys.” the grief is palpable and you’re glad you can’t see their faces as they process the information. it would do nothing but throw you further into your grief.

the silence encompassed the six of you for a long moment, no one wanting to speak but knowing that it'd be inevitable. “how do we proceed, commander?” jolt’s question reminds you that you were now their commanding officer. it was your job to get these men back home and complete your mission.

you were in charge.

you studied the changed surroundings, your eyes subconsciously maneuvering around the bodies of fallen soldiers that peppered the scenery. you were barely two clicks from the factory now, and it made your job a tiny bit easier. 

“stunner, get back to the ship and after you take out the backup power generator at my signal, land the ship,” you paused, trying to find a safe place for the ship to land, “there, just a click northeast. that’s our rendezvous point. jolt, you’re going with him. venom, biggs, and pyro: you three are with me on demolition duty.”

“what are we going to do once we’re in, sir?” pyro doesn’t know how you’re able to keep your head through all this but chose to chalk it up to being a jetti.

“i memorized the floorplan of the building. when we get to the control room and shut down the power after stunner and slick knock out the backup generators, we’re gonna shoot every kriffing droid we see while we hightail it outta there. we’ll ping you when we’re out, and the second you get the signal, blow that piece of junk outta the sky. we’ll meet at the rendezvous point and from there, get home.”

_break it down to this next breath, this next step_  
_this next choice is one that I can make_

you can do this. you can get your remaining men back safe and survive to honor the rest of the fallen.

someone, probably stunner or jolt, try to take your master’s body from off your back and you quickly turn, all but growling at them. they were sympathetic and knew you meant no harm. you were grieving the most tragic loss you’ve ever had the misfortune to experience, of course you were going to lash out a tad.

“commander, we need to take her with us. she’ll be safe on the ship, i swear it.”  
“on my life, commander, nothing will happen to the general.”

it takes you a moment to return to a state of rationality and you slowly unbind her ankles, kneeling as stunner raises her arms from around your neck. “i’m sorry, i don’t know what that was. take her with you, i’ll see you soon.” they nodded grimly

\--------

_just do the next right thing_

you repeated the mantra in your head as you led your men into the factory, using the force to cloak your presence here until you were able to get to the control room. there had been few droids in the halls and for that you were grateful. it was easy to dismantle the pitiful droids without using blasters for which you were grateful for. sneaking through this place was a pain in the ass, and you were beyond tired of it. “sir, i hear clankers approaching from the rear! if they spot us now, we’re toast!”

**“the room on your left, go through there. only one lousy clanker, you’ll be safe.”**

“quick, everyone in here!” you usher your men into the room and there, like the force said, was the clanker. instead of letting one of your boys shoot it, you used the force and rip a hole into its torso the droid easily crumpling it like a sheet of paper. ignoring the concern radiating from the troopers, you pressed a hand to the door you just came from to sense whether the clankers had passed you by. you get the all-clear from the force. “let’s go, we’re almost there.”

you kept walking straight ahead, sticking close to the walls, and in a corridor to the right, there were three commandos. blast, they were right in front of the door! you pressed a hand to your temple, trying to think of what to do that would draw the least attention you could.

you have an idea.

you climb up the wall until you’re nearly to the ceiling, and use the force to help you crawl across the ceiling until you’re directly above the middle commando. with a nod sent to venom, you drop down onto the middle commando with both 'sabers ignited, the blades slicing clean through the two on either side. venom shoots the one you landed on as you jump away, effectively eliminating the guards.

“destroy the backup power! now!” you command over the comms as you four get into the control room, everyone else already shooting at anything in sight.

“right away, sir!” the gunfire from the ship echoes through the walls and you’re filled with pride for your men.

“let’s get to work.”

\--------

“is everything roasted?” they nod. “you know what’s coming now, right?” your question brings them to attention.

you don’t even answer your question before clankers begin to flood the control room. they're taken care of in seconds but they serve as an effective reminder for you to get the kriff out before their reinforcements arrive.

“we’ve done our duty, boys! let’s haul ass!”

\--------

you’ve never ran so fast in your life. you were using the force to increase the speed of your boys, and they were living for it. “i’ve only ever been this fast in a speeder!!” pyro’s shout makes you laugh.

“enjoy this now, pyro! your legs are gonna kriffin’ hurt later!”  
“wouldn’t expect anything less, commander!”

_so i'll walk through this night_  
_stumbling blindly toward the light_  
_and do the next right thing_

“we’re almost outta here, get ready to shoot on my command!” the exit was just up ahead and seconds before reaching the door, your hope began to drift away.

droidekas. six of them preparing to block the exit.

you knew your boys wouldn’t make it out without a casualty if they stayed behind with you, and you weren’t going to let anyone else die on your watch. with an extra oomph, you’re able to push them even faster as you feel yourself slowing down, putting your men ahead of yourself. they don’t realize it, which is a relief. it would make what you’re about to do that much easier. you stopped as they made it out by the skin of their teeth, the droidekas not seeing them as they zoom over their balled forms. you drew your master’s saber as a swarm of droids surround you, clanker, commando, and droideka alike.

you didn’t think you were going to make it off this planet, but you were going to take every one of these sons of bitches down with you that you could.

“stunner! jolt! get to shooting!”

blaster bolts are flurrying around you, your blades sending them all back and hitting whatever droid they came from. the swirls of blue and purple are all you can sense as you deflect and slice, your mind in autopilot.

“commander, where are you?!”  
“what do you mean, biggs?! she’s with you!”  
“she must have- commander! commander, come in!” biggs shouted for you through the comms, voice frantic.

“jolt! stunner! where are those blasters i asked for?!” even though you had the force on your side as you dual-wielded against a small army of droids, you knew that eventually you’d be overwhelmed and that you had very little time to talk.

“we’re not firing on the factory until we know you’re out of there!”  
“you are going to fire on that factory now, stunner! that’s a direct order!”

“we’re not leaving without our jetti!” it was venom’s voice over the comms now and if you weren’t mistaken, there was a lump in his throat. he had already lost a general and many brothers within such a short time, he wasn’t going to lose his jedi commander too.

what little hope your men had given you before was dwindling away as the droids closed in. her voice reentered your mind, the smooth cadence of your master not letting you give up. **“follow my directions exactly and you’ll be able to escape. now, get ready!”** she directed you which droids to cut down, which to maim, and which ones to avoid to ensure your escape. it felt almost normal, like she was next to you and fighting the way she should be. the purple whirring through the air solidified the thought.

 **“there, dear one! charge between the two commandos on your right and you’ll be out!”** you do as your master said, and sure enough, escape! the second stunner and jolt saw the telltale glow of lightsabers emerge from the factory, they begin shooting with everything they’ve got.

your feet are pounding on the ground, sabers clenched tightly in your hands as you sprint toward the rendezvous. an explosion behind you fills you with more adrenaline than before, and in seconds the ship is in front of you, venom and pyro holding their arms out for you to grab. with one powerful jump, you nearly topple them as you hit the ramp, their hands quickly grabbing you and pulling you in. the ramp slowly shuts behind you, and you finally pause and remember that you succeeded in your mission.

*** *b l a c k o u t* ***

you wake on the ship and you're confused. were you really that tired to fall asleep before a mission? venom is next to you on your cot, worry etched across his features. you ask him what's got him so anxious and this does nothing but make his force signature ripple with pain. you hadn't even made it to deimos yet, there was nothing to worry about yet.

as you try to calm the worried commander beside you, everything comes back to you in a dizzying rush. the explosion, the factory, your master… your master.

“venom, where is she?!” you sit up quicker than you should have and you instantly regret it. your entire body is throbbing in pain, feeling small cuts reopen and a little bit of blood trickling in a few places.

“don’t worry commander, she’s just over here,” he stands and points to the cot across from yours where a blanket is covering the body of your master, smudges of magenta showing through the off-white fabric.

you sigh in relief, unsure of what you would have done if your master’s body wasn’t on the ship. “thank you, venom. now how long until we get to coruscant?”

he knows this tone a bit too well. it was the one you used when you had something up your sleeve. “i don’t know what you’re thinking, commander, but you’re headed straight to the infirmary when we land. every jedi that tries to bring you anywhere else will suffer my a'den, including you.”

“i have one thing i must do before then, venom, and i swear it isn’t a report.”

venom’s looking to you for an explanation, and when you give it, he thinks it’s… a reasonable request. he hates that you’re not going straight to the infirmary but he knows that you need to do this. for her. “i’ll be waiting to escort you there myself, commander.”  
“i wouldn’t expect any less, my friend.”

\--------

you landed on coruscant, and it felt too soon yet too late all the same. “commander, we’ve docked. the boys are lined up outside the ship waiting for you both.” you acknowledge the captain with a nod, lifting your master from the cot she’d been laid upon. biggs took his leave, assuming the position for their mini-procession.

the tears came back when your eyes caught the wound on her torso. for the sake of the younglings that may be wandering around the temple, you wrap her torso in the sheet she had been covered with. no child needed to see something so horrific.

once done, you pick her back up and exit the ship. the sound of your footfalls bring your men to attention, saluting you both as you slowly carry your master out. everyone else on the docks froze at the sight, no one knowing how to process the scene unfurling in front of them. debris from the factory knocked out the communication links.

all the better, really. you were in no state to update the council on the events that transpired and it would be horribly taboo for a clone captain to address the council with news of your master’s death. some of the people on the docks suddenly came back to their senses and ran ahead of you into the temple, presumably to warn others of your arrival with your troopers following closely behind. clones (you hated the word) fresh from battle were a rare sight in the temple, but the fact there were several of them with the blood of their vod'e smeared across their armor was almost as jarring as the body you carried.

you couldn’t bother yourself with their shock. it was of no consequence to you. the only thing that mattered was taking your master to the gardens she loved so much.

_and, with it done, what comes then?_  
_when it's clear that everything will never be the same again_

gasps and crying echoed in the halls, the sound of your men's footfalls following you deeper into the temple keeping your head clear. you were a padawan without a master. newly blind without your longtime guide to help you navigate a universe you didn’t think you were ready to face.

\--------

*** * i n t h e g a r d e n * ***

obi-wan emerged from his meditation to a sharp pang in the force, a repetitive stabbing into his heart and temples. his instincts check on anakin first (force knows how trouble-prone he is), knowing that him and his grandpadawan are headed to/are already amid another assignment. his former padawan is okay, his togrutan companion snoring peacefully nearby on their ship. that’s two people down, two people safe. the jedi master has a short list of people he checks on when he gets pains like this because he knows what it means: someone he loves has died. he reaches you, and his heart clenches. there’s sorrow around your force signature like a storm cloud and he immediately skips to your master, fearing the worst.

her signature was so weak, and the lack of her normal force presence caused him to panic. his fears were confirmed when he heard the doors to the garden open and he turns to see you, your master’s body in your arms and some of your clones taking posts outside the door.

\--------

your eyes looked right through the jedi, not even registering his presence because of the cloud looming over you. gingerly you tried lowering yourself to sit and when you were about to tip over, you could feel the force wrap around you. you weren’t the one using it, and you were startled to find obi-wan sitting a few feet away. silence hung in the air for several moments, neither of you wanting to acknowledge the woman cradled in your arms.

“she always loved the gardens. always said they grounded her to reality and strengthened her connection to the force.” obi-wan broke the silence tentatively, knowing the situation well. his mind drifts to his master and how young he was when he watched his master die. you were nearly the same age he was, if you weren't there already, when his own master died.

he moved closer to you as slow as possible, knowing that a sudden movement would scare you off, make you shut down.

you didn’t speak, you couldn’t bring yourself to. obi-wan deserved more than your silence because look at you, you were holding the dead body of one of his closest friends as if it were nothing. so you leaned your head on his shoulder, hoping to show him that you weren’t going to close yourself off from the people who love you.

master yoda entered the garden, quickly drawing the attention of you and obi-wan. he said nothing, just approached you and your master somberly. his tiny hands begin to unwrap the sheet from her body and you tell obi-wan through the force to look away, that he doesn’t need to see how it happened. of course he doesn’t listen, letting out an audible gasp as his eyes behold the mortal wound. master yoda grimaces as he rewraps the sheet and takes your hand in his gingerly without acknowledging the smearing of your master's blood on his hand.

“how it happened, padawan, show me.”

closing your eyes and focusing, you showed him every detail from the mission, holding nothing back. it was still so fresh, and tears began to fall as you showed master yoda the incidents that led to the death of your master.

obi-wan had seen the tears and he habitually wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. he didn’t think it through; he reeled back when he was presented with the image of your master impaled, hanging lifeless from the rocks.

you continued sharing your vision through the force, hoping that you didn’t accidentally leave something out. the shared vision came to a close and master yoda said nothing for a long moment. his silence was suffocating, knowing that his scrutiny was one of the strongest in the council.

“dedicated to you, your clones are.”

phew, you were worried about every possible thing he could have said and this was comforting. “they’re some of the finest men i’ve ever worked with. i owe them my life.” no hesitation in your words. the men outside the garden door were steadfast and loyal, soldiers through and through, but most importantly they were your brothers.

master yoda nodded at your words. “you’ve done well.” his eyes flitted down for a moment but quickly met yours once again.

you follow his gaze to where your master was supposed to be and you panic. she was levitating above you, the sheet still snug around her abdomen. the jedi master slowly brings her down just below his eye level, letting her stay afloat only a smidge above a foot from the ground. “worry not, padawan. one with the force, she will become.” with that, master yoda leaves the garden and your master floating in front of him.

the clones bow to the master as he exits and you stifle a grin. “you boys need to get checked out, i’ll be fine from here.”

venom sighs loudly because he knew this was going to happen. he knew, despite your insistence that it wouldn’t. “commander, with all due respect, you need to be taken to the infirmary way before us. you took on hundreds of droids by yourself and by some miracle, got out of there in one piece. there’s no way you’re not in unimaginable pain right now.”

obi-wan did what he could to hide the melancholic anger that bubbled in him. did you have any idea how dangerous that could have been?! surely the clone was exaggerating, hopefully you really didn't take on that many droids single-handed. whether venom was stretching the truth or not didn’t matter at the present moment. him fussing about you staying safe would do nothing but push you into more danger; he learned this with anakin the hard way. “i can escort her momentarily, venom. you get your troops checked out and rest.”

venom tries to search the jedi master’s eyes for signs of deceit but there is none. satisfied, he relents. “thank you, general. alright men, let’s move out.” their synchronized footsteps echo for a few moments and then they slowly pitter patter away.

the sounds of the garden are all that’s heard for a long while. you do what you always did in the garden, letting its ecosystem sweep you away in its connections to the force. you welcome obi-wan’s company next to you, your bond through the force feeling stronger than it has in a long while. he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him like a father would when his child is upset. you relish in the comfort he gives you because it’s so similar to your master and how she would take care of you.

“what are your plans, young one? how will you move on from here?”

you didn’t have a complete answer or a half-effort one either, so you decided to instead talk to your friend about how she appeared to you. how her aid was crucial to you being alive to talk to him right now. his attention was on yours only and when you finished telling him, he was strangely… happy.

“your master loved you, there’s no denying that.” you knew this. she never tried to hide it from you, no matter what you heard other masters say. even while she was falling to her death she told you how deep her love was for you.

“did you forget the question from earlier, padawan?”

you had no idea how you'd move on, what you would do once your master was on her pyre, yet the words seemed to come from nowhere. you let yourself be consumed with distant memories of your master, the feelings bittersweet. “i'll make the choice to hear that voice and do the next right thing.”


	2. bonds growing through bonds broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anakin and ahsoka return to coruscant where they experience the aftershocks of a broken force bond. the sadness becomes a teaching tool for ahsoka as well as a chance for their bond with each other to grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda-sorta set this after landing at point rain, sue me. but also, i have this personal hc that anakin can speak, not just understand it but speak, binary. him and r2 can talk shit in front of people (mainly obi-wan) without anyone knowing but fellow droids and it’s great. this chapter is kinda a filler (code for being only half of the previous chapter) for how anakin got to the temple in time to see the reader mourning the loss of her master. i also added some master/padawan bonding for him & ahsoka, aka WHAT THEY BOTH DESERVE

when anakin was notified of his battalion’s one-week leave on coruscant, he was relieved. his men have been in desperate need of respite for months but their skill thrust them onto the front lines mission after mission. there was very little rest to be found on the front lines. (anakin didn’t like to have the idea pointed out to him of it being his fault that they’re sent on the most grueling missions, it grated on his conscience quite a bit and taxed his already subpar ability to keep his emotions in check.)

“are we going to visit the temple, master?” ahsoka’s voice was not hiding how hopeful she was for a visit. he didn’t have it in him to say no to his padawan at that moment. she deserved some sense of normalcy outside of the war, and damn him if he didn’t try and give it to her.

the sun was setting over coruscant as they entered the doors of the temple, the sky being a constantly changing canvas of vibrant colors. it was oddly quiet in the halls, and anakin didn’t like it at all. the temple is always bustling with voices and robed bodies mingling in nearly every available space. thinking back, the only reason the temple would be this deserted would be because-

ahsoka fell to her knees, holding her montrals in her hands. the same weight that brought his padawan to the ground staggered him backward a few steps, and he cursed himself for not noticing it sooner. “what’s going on? i’ve never felt anything like this, master! i- i don’t like it,” her voice was weak and he quickly moved to help her up.

“that, my padawan, is some of the strongest grief that can be felt by a jedi. it’s the broken bond between a master and their padawan.”

“how did it break?”

anakin took a deep breath before answering, wishing that this could have been avoided for as long as possible. “one of them died, ahsoka. presumably before their training bond was mutually dissolved the way it would have been once the padawan became a knight.”

her gasp spoke of her innocence, an innocence he had taken from him long ago. he knew that it’d be hard to keep hers intact while in the heat of war, but something had to give. “do you want to come back later?” _was it bad that he hoped she would want to leave?_

“no, master. i have to learn both the good and bad about being a jedi, and that includes this.” she had to get that wisdom from obi-wan. if it were anakin in her position, he would have been adamant on leaving and potentially not coming back until the next day. but since she wanted to keep going, that’s what they did.

anakin didn’t try to pinpoint the jedi who was the source of the grief, choosing instead to lead ahsoka to the quarters he shared with obi-wan as a padawan. if he wasn’t mistaken, his former master hadn’t made the time to move his things into a private room fit for a member of the council.it would be a good time for her to learn about him and obi-wan, the men they were before they met her.

it was a blissful reprieve from the funeral he knew was happening somewhere within the temple. ahsoka was asking questions about the gizmos he built and disassembled to help him learn to meditate, moving them from hand to hand and eventually turning them on. out of the three he faithfully tweaked throughout his time in the temple, only one of them turned on.

they were all three less than a foot tall, their metal putsides clearly mismatched but welded together with love. the one able to power on whirled in circles for a moment before coming to a stop in front of anakin, whistling happily.

_[“anakin! anakin, you came back!”]_

ahsoka knew that anakin most likely understood every whistle and shifting gear that came from the tiny robot, but what she didn’t expect was her master to respond in kind, basic being replaced with his own whistles and clicks.

_[“of course i came back, little guy. i would have come sooner but i’ve been really busy, there’s a war going on and i’m fighting in it.]_

_[“oh, no! i hope you and master obi-wan are staying safe!”]_ there was a pause in his whistling, contemplating something. _[“anakin, who is this?”]_ the robot wheeled itself in front of ahsoka, who was watching all of this with a smile. her master was relaxed more than she’s seen him in a while, seeming to enjoy the memories that came from the tiny palm-sized droid in front of them.

anakin replied with more clicks and whistles. _[“this is my padawan, ahsoka tano.”]_ he returned to basic for a brief moment, addressing the girl beside him. “ahsoka, this is gizmo. he’s the first droid i built in the temple, if you don’t count the mouse droids i reprogrammed.”

_[“you have a padawan now, anakin?! how long has it been since i’ve been powered up?!”]_

anakin blushed a little, guilty that his droid hadn’t been properly taken care of since the beginning of the clone wars on geonosis. _[“it’s been a little over a year, gizmo. this is the first time i’ve had time to actually go through my things here since the war began.”]_

_[“well at least you’re back now, ani. will you take us with you when you leave?”]_  
_[“of course. i’m not leaving you guys behind this time.”]_

they continued to pass the time with gizmo, anakin talking in basic now so he could divert most of his concentration on fixing gidget and widget. the two of them were just as happy about the return of their maker and the introduction to ahsoka. anakin smiled when he realized that widget had a soft spot for his padawan, barely leaving her side as she continued to learn about his and obi-wan’s lives before the war.

all that could be seen of ahsoka were her legs as she looked under obi-wan’s bed, inspecting the area for a spring that had shot away from anakin moments earlier. “master, what’s in this?”

“what’s in what?”

she began to wriggle out of the tiny space, arm movement limited by a box held in her hands. anakin had never seen the box before. “i’m not sure, snips. open it and see.” that probably wasn’t the best decision on his part, but he was genuinely curious about what obi-wan had felt was in need of being hidden. he’s learned from him and fought beside him for ten years, surely the contents of the box were simple, probably anakin’s padawan braid or some of the trinkets anakin would make for him when he wasn’t listening during his lessons.

he was so absorbed in his thoughts that he wasn’t paying attention when ahsoka pulled a lightsaber out of the box, its blade igniting into a bright green. anakin’s eyes went wide and his heart clenched at the familiar glow. he never expected to see that ‘saber again, especially not in the hands of his padawan. “put that back **now** , ahsoka.”

ahsoka was taken aback at the newfound hostility in her master’s voice. “master, whose is-”  
“it doesn’t matter whose it is, put it back where you found it.”

he felt bad for barking the order at ahsoka, he really did, but he was reeling. anakin had no idea that obi-wan kept qui-gon’s lightsaber for all these years. from what he was always told, a lightsaber was always destroyed when its owner died. it might have something to do with the kyber crystal or it could just be to keep other jedi from wallowing in the loss. and obi-wan keeping his late master’s lightsaber was such a contradiction in anakin’s mind.

_was obi-wan not the model jedi he’d been raised to think he was?_

ahsoka’s good mood had left with the green glow of qui-gon’s lightsaber, his padawan putting it back into the box with haste. widget and gidget took it upon themselves to push the box back to its original spot under the bed because it wouldn’t take a genius to know that she was frozen in place.

anakin sighed at the sight of ahsoka sporting the look of a kicked tooka, caring his throat to explain something that he didn’t even completely understand. “there’s a lot of things you don’t know about obi-wan, and apparently there are still things i don’t know about him.” she looked up from the spot on her boots that had sparked her interest after the scolding, eyes a little wet. this was supposed to be a good thing for him and ahsoka, not whatever this has become.

“what does that have to do with the lightsaber i found?”  
“that lightsaber belonged to obi-wan’s master.”

he let ahsoka process the words for a moment, returning his eyes to gizmo as he left her to come to a conclusion on her own.

ahsoka didn’t realize until then that she hadn’t met a jedi that claimed to be obi-wan’s master. and wouldn’t any jedi be proud to have raised one of the most proficient users of soresu in jedi history, let alone someone as kind and intelligent as the master jedi? part of her had assumed that it could only be either master yoda or master plo, the two being the only ones she could think of that would have been able to champion such greatness from a jedi.

but then again, why would his master’s lightsaber be in a box beneath his bed? the length of the blade alone was taller than master yoda himself, which disqualified him. master plo’s lightsaber was blue, not green. and there would be no reason to keep this blade because master plo was still alive, she had seen him just a few days ago. the dust that had covered the box and the area around it had been years thick.

“did obi-wan’s master die?”

her voice was thick with the weight of the question. anakin had to give her credit, it didn’t take her long to come to her conclusion, but it also made it to where he had to explain it sooner.

“his name was qui-gon jinn, and he died shortly after he found me on tatooine when i was a kid.”  
“you weren’t raised in the temple?”

the question was a slap in the face. of course ahsoka didn’t know anything about his past, he never told her! if things were normal, no war looming over their heads every second, he might have told her sooner about how he came to be a jedi. ahsoka trusted him implicitly with her life, and he didn’t have the decency to tell her anything about him!

“no i wasn’t, snips. i spent the first nine years of my life on tatooine as- as…” the word was still bitter on his tongue, but he owed it to ahsoka to tell her the truth. “i was a slave with my mother. qui-gon found me when he was looking for a certain part to fix the ship he came on and none of the vendors would accept the credits he had. i volunteered to race in the boonta eve classic to win him the part. he worked a deal with watto - my owner - that if i won the race, i would be free.”

“did your mother get to come with you?” ahsoka stored the knowledge about anakin being a slave into another part of her mind to be dwelled upon later, choosing to focus on the story being told right now.

part of him expected the question but that expectancy didn’t numb the stabbing pain that came when thinking of his mother. “no, she didn’t. that wasn’t part of the deal.”

“oh...” she didn’t say anything else, silently asking for anakin to continue the story.

“so i won my freedom in the race, and qui-gon took me to his ship where i met obi-wan, padme, and two of her guards. when we returned to naboo, it was during the invasion of naboo. i accidentally took a naboo fighter into combat while qui-gon and obi-wan fought darth maul back in the hangar.” memories of him blowing up the trade federation ship alongside r2 brought a soft smile to his face. he didn’t realize then the magnitude of what he did, but getting older brought the understanding of how many lives he saved - and took - at the tender age of nine.

“out of the three of them, obi-wan was the only one to make it out.”

“wait, obi-wan was a padawan when he killed a sith?!”

anakin couldn’t help but leak a little bit of pride into his confirmation. “yeah, he was. that fight was part of the reason he was knighted as soon as we returned to coruscant.”

the awe was clear in ahsoka’s eyes, but the awe turned into confusion. there was something off, she realized. “what was the other reason?”

“obi-wan told me that qui-gon’s dying breath was having him promise to train me as a jedi. and-”

“that’s so unfair of him! you don’t just force someone to make that promise while you’re dying! he blatantly took advantage of his padawan’s trust!” there was anger tinging the edges of ahsoka’s force signature, anger in the name of obi-wan’s suffering. “if it were us and you wanted me to promise you something so monumental as who i would take as my padawan, i don’t know if i could go against that because you’re my master.”

“you have reasons for the things you ask me to do, and i trust them because you’re my master. but obi-wan being asked to take a padawan before he had even been knighted was cruel. it took away obi-wan’s right to choose his own padawan the way he should have been able to! the way you should have been able to!-”

the outburst came to a grinding halt as the anger around ahsoka morphed to something akin to guilt. like obi-wan, anakin didn’t get to choose her as his padawan. it was a bit different but it didn’t matter as much. obi-wan had been keeping a promise to a dead man to train anakin and even though she could tell obi-wan cared about anakin deeply, there must have been a time where the man blamed the young now-free child from tatooine.

did anakin blame her for removing his choice? she was assigned to him by the council, and she remembers clearly that he didn’t want a padawan. he said as much when they first met on christophsis. he wrote her off in the beginning, trying to push her onto obi-wan like a reluctant babysitter. eventually he accepted her under his wing, but at what cost?

ahsoka sniffled, turning away from anakin’s concern. he wasn’t going to let her have the same feelings he did when he first learned about the promise made to qui-gon, that his master was only keeping him around because someone else asked him to.

it would eat her alive with far more ferocity than it did him; she had been raised in the temple and had been raised in a home of safety, of guarantees that her master would choose her and want her completely. her being sent to him went against all that and realizing it like she just did was sure to crumble her if he didn’t step in.

“ahsoka, listen to me.” wherever he would scoot to be across from her, she’d move away. this game continued for a few moments until he finally grabbed her shoulders as she tried to spin. “it’s true that i didn’t intend on taking a padawan when you came to christophsis. i didn’t know if i would ever want a padawan, but this past year with you has been so rewarding. it’s given me a lot of perspective on how much stress i put on obi-wan back in my padawan days.”

anakin’s laugh seemed to ease a bit of the tension that had built in ahsoka’s shoulders. “i tend to doubt the council and go against them a bit more than i should,” ahsoka rolled her eyes, which told anakin that his talk was working. “but their choice in putting you under my care is the only decision of theirs i will accept without hesitation. you make me proud, snips.”

she was smiling despite the tear tracks visible on her face. anakin found one of his grease rags nearby and used it to wipe them away, accidentally leaving behind a few grease smudges. he chuckled at the marks and she looked at him in confusion. “what, is there something on my face?” she started wiping at where the rag had touched her face and it did nothing but make the marks bigger.

“somethin’ like that.” they went back to work at tweaking anakin’s tiny droids with smiles on both faces. there was no more thought given to the broken bond outside their room, the only matters of consequence being the accuracy of their labors over the tiny droids and the strengthening of their bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it seems so far that if the reader is in a chapter, anakin's not there. if anakin's there, the reader's not. trust me when i say that they W I L L cross paths in the next chapter because they will.


End file.
